Just some random thoughts...

You know, life has been moving at a fast pace in the last few months. I've reconnected with a lot of my old, dear friends...and have really done a lot of soul searching into who I really am. It's amazing how quickly people come into your life...and out again.

I am truly blessed to have the core of friends that I do. I know it's SO cliche to say that, but I really am. I don't have a lot of really close friends, but I am truly thankful for some of the most influential people in my life:

Sheri Antle. My bff. Sheri and I met when my boss reported to her boss. Since we were both Admins, we talked on the phone a million times a day. Our bosses paid for us to spend five days in sunny FL together after we griped that their "work meetings" were always on the golf course. It was an amazing trip...and the dawning of our amazing friendship. I would truly be lost as a mother without her. She always has the right words to calm me in a panicked situation. She is an amazing listener and a great friend. She truly is one of the most amazing women I've ever had the chance to meet.

Jason Sepulveda. Jason and I met a long time ago, playing poker. Back in the days when staying up until 4am playing was easy! We have remained near and dear friends for 7 years! We talk every day. We share advice, gripes, complaints, happy and sad stories, etc. I know, no matter what, he's always there if I need him. It's really an amazing thing to have a friend like that in your life.

Adam Hess. Adam and I worked together at Lerner Publishing Group back in 2002. We instantly became friends, mostly because we were the ONLY two people our age working there! LOL. It was basically process of elimination for lunch dates. :) We've managed to stay in touch through new jobs, new lives, new loves, new friends...and somehow, always end up communicating in one way or another. I am so thankful for his friendship. Adam walked into my life shortly after the death of my best friend. I don't even think that HE knows how much his friendship meant to me then...and how much it means to me now. Regardless of the decisions I make, Adam is always there to support me. I can't ask for anything more.

Eric Loeffler. Eric and I have been friends for almost 10 years. There was a time in both of our lives where we didn't talk...and lost touch Luckily for both of us, we are back in full force. Our friendship is amazing. I am so thankful for it...and so blessed! :) I'm convinced that 16 years from now, we'll be setting our kids up! :) Jack likes older women...and Kayla is pretty damn cute!

Desira Crow and Cera Heinl. I have been friends with both of them since we were in 10th grade. Desira was the "freak", Cera was the "gangsta", and I was the "jock/prep". Looking back, we really were the most unlikely group of friends...but I think it's why we were SUCH good friends. Again, two women who inspire me to be a great mom. They have both taught me a lot about it. I am so grateful for them...even if we rarely see each other. I hope they both ALWAYS know how much they mean to me.

Really, when I look at my close friends, I realize how drastically different they all are. Maybe that's why I love them all so dearly...and so differently.

I also have a group of women who I am forever indebted to. My "Ya-Ya's" have been my rock and my support from shortly after I found out I was pregnant with Jack. I "met" them all on a Pregnancy: After Loss message board and they literally changed my life.

We all had the common bond in that we'd all experienced the loss of a pregnancy. We never cut each other down for being scared...we just listened, offered an ear...and became really amazing friends. We email every single day. We text. We share stories about our lives, our friends, our families, our husbands and our children. I feel more involved in their lives than most of my friends in real life. I really, truly hope that someday Ashley, Jaime, Jill, Kelly, Reid, Kristi, Patti and myself can meet...face to face...I don't know how I would have made it through the last two and a half years without them. I may not tell them everyday, but I am SO blessed and eternally grateful for them. They all, truly, are like sisters to me.

After losing both my parents in my teens, I learned to depend on my friends much more so than most people. I depended heavily on friends in college to cope with the loss of my mother. I depended even more heavily on my hockey team in high school to help me cope with the loss of my father. I am so grateful and so thankful to everyone who made me who I am today.

Cheers.