Reflection on My Momma...

I lost my mother on January 17, 2001, nine and a half years ago. I was only 19 years old. I still remember every single detail of that day as if it were yesterday. The Hospice staff had told our family that my mom likely had less than 24 hours to live. She waited until all of us were there before she finally let go.

The first song I heard on the radio, when my nephew, Tyler, and I got into my car was "Miss Jackson" by Outkast. I was wearing St. Ben's sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt. It was 4:32p.m. All we did was drive around. We had no where to go. We just needed to get away from the stress of the situation.

But you know what? My mom was pretty damn amazing. I find myself looking back now and saying, "Wow, that's exactly how mom did it" or "Mom was right" a LOT!

She was a kind soul, angelic, if you will. She never, ever put herself first. Us 8 kids were her life and my nieces and nephews meant every thing to her. To be completely real, everyone came first in my mom's life. For 25 years, she sent new and used toys and clothes to a poverty-stricken Indian Reservation in South Dakota. Each fall, all my siblings came over and helped pack and label boxes. My mom even had a trucking company that shipped these things there for free.

Every Thanksgiving morning, we spent at Church preparing Thanksgiving meals for over 200 people who didn't have anywhere to go. Since Meals on Wheels doesn't deliver on holidays, we did. She also set the table and allowed people to come into the Church and eat together. For as long as I can remember, that was our Thanksgiving morning.

I never called my mom as such...you see, there were too many "mom's" in our family that she'd never answer to it. We all, lovingly, called her Judes. Looking back, I was a damn lucky kid.

My mom truly was one of the kindest, most giving souls. There were so many people packed in the Church during her funeral that I was FLOORED. I didn't start to cry until I realized just how many people's lives my mother touched. It was only then that my knees became so weak I had to sit down.

I miss my mom every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't wish she was here...but I know she's looking down on me. She's proud of me for getting out and moving on...and she's probably saying "I told you so" regarding my future.

Happy Mother's Day, Judes! I miss you and I love you so much.