Lots of New Stuff

So, today, January 17, 2011, is ten years since I held my mother's hand as she took her last breath. My mom, thankfully, did not suffer long after her cancer diagnosis, but I still lost my Mommy. There are so many times that I wish I could pick up the phone and call her. I want to tell her what an amazing kid Jack is. I want to hear her tell me that she's proud of me for the decisions I've made to better my life. I want to hear her tell me that she loves me...one last time. My mom only battled her cancer for about six months. In that time, I left to go to college and felt very isolated from the rest of my family. Not coming home right away is the only regret in my life that I cannot let go of.

Looking back and reflecting, a lot of major change happened in the last 12 months of my life. In fact, one of my friends told me that I did the "major three". I got divorced. I moved. And I changed jobs. Thankfully, I know that every single bit of that change was for the better.

Without question, my divorce was necessary. If you've read my blog before, you know.

And, again, without question, my job change was necessary. I went from a job that I loved to a job that I hated. It was more and more being put on my plate with absolutely no recognition of any kind...and there wasn't a promotion involved. Watching everyone around me get promoted and climb their way up the ladder was my realization that my job at NMDP was not a career, it was, just that, a job. There wasn't a career path for me there. So, I began looking.

I wanted to stay in the Health Care industry. I realized that once I'm done with school, and obtain my degree in Biochemistry, that I want to go to medical school. I want to help people. I've spent the last 8 years helping people, and I want to continue to do that....but at a higher capacity and pay scale. When I accepted my position with Park Nicollet, I knew that they would also help me pay for school. In the interim, there is a major career path for me there. There is the opportunity to be promoted, several times over. I'm excited for the opportunities.

And the move...to put it simply. I now know what it's like to be in love. I know what it's like to look someone in the eyes and not have to hear them say a word, but know exactly what they're thinking. I know what it's like to be treated like a Princess. I know what it's like to have someone who truly loves you, exactly how you are....whether you're a size two or a size ten. (And, yes, I've lost and gained that much weight this year) I know what it's like to feel like you've found your soul mate...the one person that you were put on this earth to love. The bigger half of J Squared has been nothing shy of amazing to me. He's supported me through my entire divorce process, he's been an incredible father figure and positive male role model to Jack, and he has gone to the ends of the earth for the two of us...time and time again. I look at him and I wonder what the hell I did to deserve a man like that. Honestly, I don't know the answer, but I do know that I am so thankful and so blessed. I can't wait to see what the future holds.

I'll end with a new Jackism:

Yesterday, we were watching TV and having some Reese's Pieces. Jack looked at me and said, "Mama, can I please have some more Reese's Penises, please?"

How can you NOT give him more after THAT comment?